Recently I attended a Christmas concert at my home church in Statesville,NC. I grew up in this church from the time I was a baby until I went off to college. As we were pulling into the parking lot, Grace said, "Wow, Mom, you must have a lot of happy memories here." And I had to agree that it was true. I had many happy memories inside the doors of that church. And as I thought about it, I realized that it is one of the few places in my hometown that I can honestly say that about it.
Now, I know that a lot of people love going home to the place where they grew up. They love recounting events from their past and passing by places that bring back warm memories. But, I have to say that I do not have any tender or nostalgic feelings toward my hometown. No, in fact, it is exactly the opposite. I actually almost dread returning to visit for any reason at all. Every time I drive into town, I can feel myself beginning to feel anxious. You see, it wasn't exactly a happy place for me. From a childhood tarnished by a broken family, to a youth lived in rebellion and disobedience, my experiences there were mostly anything but warm and fuzzy. I do feel like I need to clarify that I realize that coming from a divorced family is nowhere near as bad as the childhood many experience and my parents were very loving, Christian parents. But I also feel like we do a great disservice when we try to minimalize the impact divorce can have on children just because it is so prevalent within our society. Believe me, I know. I lived it firsthand.
"Home" is not exactly a happy place for me. So, why does this one place, this one building differ from every other one in this small, southern town? I think because it was here that I first felt the hand of God in my life, relentlessly loving and pursuing me...in all my brokenness, heartache and shame. It was here that He persisted in showing me the truth of who He is in so many ways, even if I didn't see it at the time.
As I sat in the pews at the concert, so many feelings washed over me. There were the same sights, sounds, and smells of my childhood. There were even some of the same faces in the choir. Things that had been constant, faithful, unchanging in a little life that had felt so unstable and insecure. I could remember being a little girl, sitting with my Daddy in those pews, listening to the words of the hymns and letting them calm my spirit, even if just for a few minutes, with reminders that God, like the faces in the choir, was unchanging too. "Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."; "Are you weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer".
I think it was there in that church that I began to love music. It was there that I fell in love with the lyrics to songs and saw the power that they had to calm and minister to my weary soul. As a teenager, those same songs would carry a different message. " Come home, come home, ye who are weary, come home. Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling. Calling, Oh sinner come home" , To the wounded and self-destructive teenager, these words were a constant reminder that Jesus was faithful to forgive, to heal and redeem...all I had to do was come and lay it all at the foot of His cross.
So, I sat there listening to the choir sing. And as the music played I heard my Savior sweetly whispering in my spirit, "It is well". No longer broken, like that little girl of long ago. No longer captive like the teenage girl. Restored, renewed, redeemed. Jesus has made me whole. And I knew that He had always been there, holding me through it all. The music reminded me that He was indeed the faithful one, relentlessly pursuing me through all the hurt and brokenness. And that He was the One who had made all things new. And I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed that He is such a wonderful, merciful Savior. Overwhelmed at how He loves me. " And Oh, how He loves us so. Oh how He loves us. How He loves us so"
So, whatever season you may currently be in right now in your life, He is there. He is faithful. He is calling...earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling...
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Storybook lessons
As a former English teacher, it should come as no surprise that I love to read. I love everything about books, the way they feel in my hands, the smell of the pages, the limitless possibilities for the imagination contained between the two covers. Lately my favorite books to read are actually books that I bought to read to my children as our family 'read alouds'. They are simple books- books that probably both of my children could read on their own, and yet they have impacted me much more than I ever anticipated. I bought these books with the idea that they would serve as a great resource for some family togetherness while at the same time teaching my kids about real men and women of faith. Little did I know that perhaps God had a different purpose in mind and that I was in fact the one who would learn a valuable lesson from these books. They are the Christian Heroes: Then and Now series.
If you aren't familiar with these books, they are a series of books written about some of the greatest men and women of the Christian faith, heroes as the title suggest, who boldly and obediently served Jesus. Men and women like Amy Carmichael, Jim Elliot, Corrie Ten Boom, Nate Saint, Gladys Alward, Hudson Taylor and George Muller are just a few of the stories told. Recently I just finished reading the biography of Nate Saint. He was the pilot who bravely went into the Ecuadorian jungle with the more famous Jim Elliot to take the gospel to the unreached tribe of the "Auca" Indians. Most people probably know that it was there that these 2 men and 3 others lost their lives, speared by the hands of the people they were so desperate to save.
Like most believers, I was familiar with this story before I read it. I had read other accounts by Elisabeth Elliot (Jim's wife) and various other authors and had always been profoundly impacted by this tale of heroism for the sake of the gospel. But as I finished reading the book, I felt a quiet unrest deep within my spirit. You see, Nate Saint had a wife and 3 small children. I couldn't help but put myself in the shoes of Marj Saint or Elisabeth Elliot...kissing my husband good-bye, knowing full well the risk that he was taking, that I may never again see his face on this side of eternity, that my children might have to grow up without their father. Or what about Hudson Taylor, the missionary committed to taking the gospel to the foreign territory of inland China. There he buried several of his children and his wife, lost to tropical diseases that they otherwise wouldn't have suffered if they had stayed in America.
As I thought about these things, the now famous quote of Jim Elliot kept going through my mind , "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose". This quote hung on my classroom wall for two years, and now for the first time, I felt the heavy weight of it. And I thought to myself, what am I "giving" for the sake of the gospel? If I am completely honest, I am not sure that I would willingly give the life of my husband or children. In fact, I spend a lot of time in prayer asking God for exactly the opposite. "Please keep them safe, please protect them, please watch over them" are things that I petition the Lord for on a regular basis. How does one get to the point of being willing to place all things, even the things and people most dear to us, on the altar before the Lord in total and complete surrender. "Not my will, but yours be done"....whatever that looks like, whatever that means, whatever it costs.
We reason with ourselves that God doesn't ask that much of us all. He only wants some people to go into the mission field, or sell all their possessions. No, He doesn't ask that of us all...only special people, called for a specific purpose. I mean, He couldn't possibly want me to endure hardship or to suffer. But isn't this in fact the very thing Jesus demands of all His followers in Mark 9 where he says," If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lost it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it"? Take up your cross, lose your life. He doesn't say you may have to in order to follow Him, he says you MUST. He doesn't say to be my disciple you should say a prayer, walk an aisle and then sit in comfort and complacency. He says in essence, you must die. Just like He demanded of Nate Saint and Jim Elliott, just like He demanded of Hudson Taylor, he demands the very same thing of all who come after Him. You must give me everything.
So how does one get to that place? That place of total surrender..."Here, Lord, it's all Yours. You can have it all...whatever You ask, I will give up for the sake of the gospel." I so want to be in that place. I so want to be able to see things from a heavenly perspective. Knowing that there is nothing in this world, and I mean nothing, more valuable than knowing Christ and living boldly and radically for Him. I think (and this is just my best guess at this point) that perhaps it starts with a daily obedience to this call placed on us a believers. Today I will choose to die to myself. Today I will choose to give up things of the world in exchange for things with real value...whatever that looks like for each individual believer. Daily obedience to the commands of God, committed to knowing Him more deeply through the study of His word and prayer, and through that He begins to change us. He begins to loosen our firm grip on the worldly things that we hold so dear and then "the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."
Oh, how I long to "count all things loss" in comparison to knowing Christ as Paul exclaimed in Philippians. And so I take heart that Paul too saw himself as not yet having fully attained it. So, as I seek to give Christ my all and yet feel so far away from being able to proclaim honestly "to live is Christ, to die is gain!", I will espouse the words of Paul found in Philippians 3:12-13 "Not that I have already obtained this or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
If you aren't familiar with these books, they are a series of books written about some of the greatest men and women of the Christian faith, heroes as the title suggest, who boldly and obediently served Jesus. Men and women like Amy Carmichael, Jim Elliot, Corrie Ten Boom, Nate Saint, Gladys Alward, Hudson Taylor and George Muller are just a few of the stories told. Recently I just finished reading the biography of Nate Saint. He was the pilot who bravely went into the Ecuadorian jungle with the more famous Jim Elliot to take the gospel to the unreached tribe of the "Auca" Indians. Most people probably know that it was there that these 2 men and 3 others lost their lives, speared by the hands of the people they were so desperate to save.
Like most believers, I was familiar with this story before I read it. I had read other accounts by Elisabeth Elliot (Jim's wife) and various other authors and had always been profoundly impacted by this tale of heroism for the sake of the gospel. But as I finished reading the book, I felt a quiet unrest deep within my spirit. You see, Nate Saint had a wife and 3 small children. I couldn't help but put myself in the shoes of Marj Saint or Elisabeth Elliot...kissing my husband good-bye, knowing full well the risk that he was taking, that I may never again see his face on this side of eternity, that my children might have to grow up without their father. Or what about Hudson Taylor, the missionary committed to taking the gospel to the foreign territory of inland China. There he buried several of his children and his wife, lost to tropical diseases that they otherwise wouldn't have suffered if they had stayed in America.
As I thought about these things, the now famous quote of Jim Elliot kept going through my mind , "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose". This quote hung on my classroom wall for two years, and now for the first time, I felt the heavy weight of it. And I thought to myself, what am I "giving" for the sake of the gospel? If I am completely honest, I am not sure that I would willingly give the life of my husband or children. In fact, I spend a lot of time in prayer asking God for exactly the opposite. "Please keep them safe, please protect them, please watch over them" are things that I petition the Lord for on a regular basis. How does one get to the point of being willing to place all things, even the things and people most dear to us, on the altar before the Lord in total and complete surrender. "Not my will, but yours be done"....whatever that looks like, whatever that means, whatever it costs.
We reason with ourselves that God doesn't ask that much of us all. He only wants some people to go into the mission field, or sell all their possessions. No, He doesn't ask that of us all...only special people, called for a specific purpose. I mean, He couldn't possibly want me to endure hardship or to suffer. But isn't this in fact the very thing Jesus demands of all His followers in Mark 9 where he says," If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lost it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it"? Take up your cross, lose your life. He doesn't say you may have to in order to follow Him, he says you MUST. He doesn't say to be my disciple you should say a prayer, walk an aisle and then sit in comfort and complacency. He says in essence, you must die. Just like He demanded of Nate Saint and Jim Elliott, just like He demanded of Hudson Taylor, he demands the very same thing of all who come after Him. You must give me everything.
So how does one get to that place? That place of total surrender..."Here, Lord, it's all Yours. You can have it all...whatever You ask, I will give up for the sake of the gospel." I so want to be in that place. I so want to be able to see things from a heavenly perspective. Knowing that there is nothing in this world, and I mean nothing, more valuable than knowing Christ and living boldly and radically for Him. I think (and this is just my best guess at this point) that perhaps it starts with a daily obedience to this call placed on us a believers. Today I will choose to die to myself. Today I will choose to give up things of the world in exchange for things with real value...whatever that looks like for each individual believer. Daily obedience to the commands of God, committed to knowing Him more deeply through the study of His word and prayer, and through that He begins to change us. He begins to loosen our firm grip on the worldly things that we hold so dear and then "the things of earth grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."
Oh, how I long to "count all things loss" in comparison to knowing Christ as Paul exclaimed in Philippians. And so I take heart that Paul too saw himself as not yet having fully attained it. So, as I seek to give Christ my all and yet feel so far away from being able to proclaim honestly "to live is Christ, to die is gain!", I will espouse the words of Paul found in Philippians 3:12-13 "Not that I have already obtained this or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
From a different view...
The malls are crowded with holiday shoppers, the radio stations are playing "Silver Bells" and "Santa Clause is Coming to Town", the stockings are hung by the chimney with care...yes, the Christmas season has officially begun. I love everything about Christmas. My decorations are up almost before Thanksgiving dinner has settled in my stomach, I play Christmas music in my car 24/7 from mid-November on, and the shopping...oh, don't even get me started on how much I love Christmas shopping! (And online shopping SO does NOT count.) There is just something about this time of year that makes my step a little lighter, my heart a little warmer and my pants a little tighter. Yes, I love everything about Christmas.
Now, of course, as a believer I know that Christmas isn't at all about the presents, the lights, the food or even spending time with family and friends. And yet, I am just as guilty as non-believers as allowing my focusing to become skewed this time of year. So how do we then, as believers, keep the focus on Christ during Christmas? How do we enjoy the secular aspects of Christmas without getting lost in them? How can I be sure that what I am truly celebrating is the miracle of Christ's birth and the incomparable grace that came to earth that night so long ago and not Christmas trees and Santa Clause?
As I have thought about this over the last few days, the answer came to me as we were practicing for our Christmas concert this weekend. I must always keep my focus on the Cross. Now, I know that typically during Christmas we focus on the baby in the manger and the shepard's watching their flocks by night. We may even think of angels and wise men, but the cross? Doesn't that come much later in the story? While it may be true that Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birth, it lacks any meaning at all if we don't view His birth through the lens of his death on the cross.
Jesus, who was himself fully God, became a human that night so long ago for one solitary purpose. He came to die. He became that sweet little baby in the manger in order to face death so that we might be saved. Jesus, "who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross!" (Phil 2:6-8) And the most beautiful part of the Christmas story is that it does not end with Jesus' death on the cross. No, that is just the beginning for those of us who have trusted in Him as our Savior. Because He rose again and conquered death, we have the promise of eternal life with Him in glory. "Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."(1 Corinth 15:54-56)
When we stop to look at Christmas from a different perspective, through the lens of the cross, we begin to see the whole picture, the whole story, God's plan from the beginning. The birth of that baby in the manger becomes something more than just a nativity scene on the mantle or the front yard. It becomes more than just a Christmas carol of "Silent Night" or " Away in a Manger". It becomes a symbol of hope. It points us to God's beautiful plan of redemption for His people.
So this Christmas season, when I find myself focusing on what gifts to buy, what treats to indulge in or even what family events to plan, I am going to try to stop myself and remember the cross. There is no amount of gifts we can give or receive, no amount of time spent with loved ones, nor any amount of holiday decorations carefully placed that can offer the true hope and peace that we experience through Jesus Christ. This is the true meaning of Christmas.
I am reminded of one of my favorite Christmas movies, "Charlie Brown Christmas" where Charlie Brown becomes frustrated at all of the secularism of Christmas and longs to know what is the true meaning of Christmas. And Linus, blanket-carrying, simple-minded Linus, reminds him, and all of us, the true meaning of Christmas. " I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is Christ the Lord."(Luke 2:10-11) A Savior has been born. Not a great man or a prophet...a Savior. THE Savior.
One of my all-time favorite songs is in "In Christ Alone" and perhaps these verses from the song best sum it all up. "In Christ alone, who took on flesh, fullness of God in helpless babe. This gift of love and righteousness, scorned by the ones he came to save. Til on that cross as Jesus died the wrath of God was satisfied. For every sin on him was laid . Here in the death of Christ I live. There in the ground His body lay, light of the world by darkness slain. Then bursting forth in glorious day, up from the grave He rose again. And as He stands in victory, sin's curse has lost its grip on me. For I am His and He is mine bought with the precious blood of Christ!"
It is in Christ alone that we find hope. In His birth, in His death and in His resurrection. It is in Christ alone that we find the true meaning of Christmas.
Now, of course, as a believer I know that Christmas isn't at all about the presents, the lights, the food or even spending time with family and friends. And yet, I am just as guilty as non-believers as allowing my focusing to become skewed this time of year. So how do we then, as believers, keep the focus on Christ during Christmas? How do we enjoy the secular aspects of Christmas without getting lost in them? How can I be sure that what I am truly celebrating is the miracle of Christ's birth and the incomparable grace that came to earth that night so long ago and not Christmas trees and Santa Clause?
As I have thought about this over the last few days, the answer came to me as we were practicing for our Christmas concert this weekend. I must always keep my focus on the Cross. Now, I know that typically during Christmas we focus on the baby in the manger and the shepard's watching their flocks by night. We may even think of angels and wise men, but the cross? Doesn't that come much later in the story? While it may be true that Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birth, it lacks any meaning at all if we don't view His birth through the lens of his death on the cross.
Jesus, who was himself fully God, became a human that night so long ago for one solitary purpose. He came to die. He became that sweet little baby in the manger in order to face death so that we might be saved. Jesus, "who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross!" (Phil 2:6-8) And the most beautiful part of the Christmas story is that it does not end with Jesus' death on the cross. No, that is just the beginning for those of us who have trusted in Him as our Savior. Because He rose again and conquered death, we have the promise of eternal life with Him in glory. "Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."(1 Corinth 15:54-56)
When we stop to look at Christmas from a different perspective, through the lens of the cross, we begin to see the whole picture, the whole story, God's plan from the beginning. The birth of that baby in the manger becomes something more than just a nativity scene on the mantle or the front yard. It becomes more than just a Christmas carol of "Silent Night" or " Away in a Manger". It becomes a symbol of hope. It points us to God's beautiful plan of redemption for His people.
So this Christmas season, when I find myself focusing on what gifts to buy, what treats to indulge in or even what family events to plan, I am going to try to stop myself and remember the cross. There is no amount of gifts we can give or receive, no amount of time spent with loved ones, nor any amount of holiday decorations carefully placed that can offer the true hope and peace that we experience through Jesus Christ. This is the true meaning of Christmas.
I am reminded of one of my favorite Christmas movies, "Charlie Brown Christmas" where Charlie Brown becomes frustrated at all of the secularism of Christmas and longs to know what is the true meaning of Christmas. And Linus, blanket-carrying, simple-minded Linus, reminds him, and all of us, the true meaning of Christmas. " I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you: he is Christ the Lord."(Luke 2:10-11) A Savior has been born. Not a great man or a prophet...a Savior. THE Savior.
One of my all-time favorite songs is in "In Christ Alone" and perhaps these verses from the song best sum it all up. "In Christ alone, who took on flesh, fullness of God in helpless babe. This gift of love and righteousness, scorned by the ones he came to save. Til on that cross as Jesus died the wrath of God was satisfied. For every sin on him was laid . Here in the death of Christ I live. There in the ground His body lay, light of the world by darkness slain. Then bursting forth in glorious day, up from the grave He rose again. And as He stands in victory, sin's curse has lost its grip on me. For I am His and He is mine bought with the precious blood of Christ!"
It is in Christ alone that we find hope. In His birth, in His death and in His resurrection. It is in Christ alone that we find the true meaning of Christmas.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Pain and Purpose of Remembering
As Grace's 10th birthday rapidly approaches, I have been recently flooded with memories of the last 10 years. It is amazing to me how quickly the time has passed, and I am nostalgic when I think back to when she was a little girl and not the "tween" that now stands before me. I love to remember how she adored all things pink, delighted in playing dress-up, and spent hours pretending make believe games with her dolls, Polly-pockets and stuffed animals. These memories bring such joy to my heart, and I am so thankful everyday to have them.
However, not all of my memories are as pleasant as those that involve my children. In fact, there are some points in my life that I would much rather forget. In my Bible study, we are learning about Moses' final warnings to the people before they enter into the Promise Land. One thing that he continually tells them is remember to remember. Moses wants the people to remember what God has done for them and how God has faithfully cared for them, often in spite of their disobedience. Moses knows that if the people forget to remember that it is from the Lord that they have received blessing, then they will be less likely to follow the commands of God in their new home.
Now, we often like to give the Israelites a hard time. I mean, it just seems so foolish to us that they could witness such miraculous displays of God's power, love and mercy and then choose to forget all that he has done for them and disobey. But I confess that I often see eerily shameful similarities between myself and them. Maybe they, like me, would rather not look back on their past years spent in bondage and slavery. Maybe they are ashamed of the mistakes they made in the wilderness and would just rather forget the whole thing and move on. We, or I, am guilty at times of having this very same mindset. At times it seems easier to just forget about our "wilderness years", so to speak, and just live comfortably in the place of blessing that the Lord has brought us to.
There are so many times that I wish I could say that my testimony is one of spending most of my life walking closely with the Lord and following His plan for my life, but unfortunately, that's just not the case. Like the Israelites, I also spent many years (thankfully not 40!) wandering in the wasteland as a result of my sin and disobedience to God. And also like them, I have been delivered from my years of bondage and slavery and brought into a place of God's blessing purely as a result of His grace and mercy. How like the Israelites I am when I forget to remember that it is only by the Lord's hand that I am no longer captive to my sin.
As Moses entreats the people to remember, I am reminded that I also must remember. As painful as it is to recall the sin and my shame of my youth, it reminds me of the Lord's great love and faithfulness to me in delivering me from those things. It humbles me to think back on how He saved me...not because I deserved it, but because He loved me. Moses knows that as the people remember God's love for them, they will, out of their gratitude and love, choose to obey Him. He knows that obedience to God is a result of love for God. What could prompt greater love than remembering the faithfulness and goodness of the merciful God we serve?
So, while at times remembering produces pain, there is great purpose in it. The purpose is that as we remember the amazing grace of God towards us and our sin, we fall more deeply in love with our Savior. We will choose to obey His commands because we remember that He alone is capable of knowing what is best for us. We will "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands." (Deut 7:9) I'd say that in itself is the worth the pain of remembering.
However, not all of my memories are as pleasant as those that involve my children. In fact, there are some points in my life that I would much rather forget. In my Bible study, we are learning about Moses' final warnings to the people before they enter into the Promise Land. One thing that he continually tells them is remember to remember. Moses wants the people to remember what God has done for them and how God has faithfully cared for them, often in spite of their disobedience. Moses knows that if the people forget to remember that it is from the Lord that they have received blessing, then they will be less likely to follow the commands of God in their new home.
Now, we often like to give the Israelites a hard time. I mean, it just seems so foolish to us that they could witness such miraculous displays of God's power, love and mercy and then choose to forget all that he has done for them and disobey. But I confess that I often see eerily shameful similarities between myself and them. Maybe they, like me, would rather not look back on their past years spent in bondage and slavery. Maybe they are ashamed of the mistakes they made in the wilderness and would just rather forget the whole thing and move on. We, or I, am guilty at times of having this very same mindset. At times it seems easier to just forget about our "wilderness years", so to speak, and just live comfortably in the place of blessing that the Lord has brought us to.
There are so many times that I wish I could say that my testimony is one of spending most of my life walking closely with the Lord and following His plan for my life, but unfortunately, that's just not the case. Like the Israelites, I also spent many years (thankfully not 40!) wandering in the wasteland as a result of my sin and disobedience to God. And also like them, I have been delivered from my years of bondage and slavery and brought into a place of God's blessing purely as a result of His grace and mercy. How like the Israelites I am when I forget to remember that it is only by the Lord's hand that I am no longer captive to my sin.
As Moses entreats the people to remember, I am reminded that I also must remember. As painful as it is to recall the sin and my shame of my youth, it reminds me of the Lord's great love and faithfulness to me in delivering me from those things. It humbles me to think back on how He saved me...not because I deserved it, but because He loved me. Moses knows that as the people remember God's love for them, they will, out of their gratitude and love, choose to obey Him. He knows that obedience to God is a result of love for God. What could prompt greater love than remembering the faithfulness and goodness of the merciful God we serve?
So, while at times remembering produces pain, there is great purpose in it. The purpose is that as we remember the amazing grace of God towards us and our sin, we fall more deeply in love with our Savior. We will choose to obey His commands because we remember that He alone is capable of knowing what is best for us. We will "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands." (Deut 7:9) I'd say that in itself is the worth the pain of remembering.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The question I never thought I'd have to answer...
If you asked me 5 years ago when Grace started school if I would ever consider homeschooling, I would have laughed at you. Don't get me wrong, I had always deeply admired those that homeschooled. I just always thought that I was not someone who had what it took to do it; I didn't fit the "mold" of what I thought a homeschooling mom looked like. So, how is it that now here we are, 5 years down the road, doing the very thing that I thought was not even something I would've considered? As I look back over the past few months, and years really, I can see how God was preparing us for this even well before we ever knew it. He was preparing me, changing me and molding me into the very thing that I thought was impossible: the homeschool mom.
Over the last few months, I have been asked one question repeatedly: "So, why have you decided to homeschool your children?" While on the surface this seems like an easy enough question to answer, it actually can be quite complicated. I know that I should just answer honestly, but the people pleaser in me is always afraid that I might accidentally offend someone with my answer. First of all, the people asking are generally not people who homeschool. Other homeschoolers already know, without asking usually, why we've made this decision. So, that means the people who are asking have their children in either public or private school. Sometimes they are people I know well, and other times, they are people I hardly know at all. Unfortunately, I tend to respond differently depending upon who's asking. Even now as I am writing this, I am worried that my thoughts will offend someone who is reading! But, there is a true reason why we homeschool, and the truth is that it may not be politically correct. I could give you all the "safe" reasons that I typically offer such as, we needed more flexibility in our schedule...which is true. Or that I wanted to be more available to help Matt in his ministry...which is true. Or even the semi-safe reason of this is what we feel like God is asking us to do...which is also true. But the real reason goes far beyond these safe, but true answers.
The truth is, we are not trying to raise smart, well-rounded, socially acceptable kids. I am sure you are thinking, what in the world did she just say??? I know at first this might sound a little crazy, so let me explain. Our ultimate goal in raising and educating our children is that they become devoted followers of Jesus Christ. The ultimate purpose in education, in our view, is not that we prepare them to get into a good college and get a good job, but that we prepare them for whatever God's calling is upon their lives. We want to raise children who are ready to follow Jesus, wherever He might lead them. Each day that I am home with my children, I have an opportunity to teach them math, reading, history and so on, but more than that, I have precious time to share with them the love of Jesus, His wonderful plans for their future and to help them see the benefits of living their lives for Jesus and not for themselves. Yes, I want them to be prepared for anything, so that does mean high academic standards, but it isn't the focus...it isn't the priority.
Please let me say that I know a lot of parents whose kids are in school (public and private) who are purposeful in teaching their children the very same principles. We just believe this is the best way for us to accomplish what we want for our children. Our ultimate reason for homeschool is perhaps best summed up in a verse I recently memorized for my Bible study. In Deuteronomy 11-18-19 it says, "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." We have such a long way to go in being the parents that God wants us to be. Everyday I stumble, when I don't have enough patience or when I lose my temper, or who knows what else. But everyday my prayer is that God will prune me, stripping away my imperfections so that my children might see Jesus in me...and that they too would fall in love with our wonderful, merciful Savior. That they would see that following Christ brings the ultimate reward beyond anything that this world can offer them.
So, there it is. The answer to the question I never thought I would have to answer. I have to say that even though it may be hard or even unpopular, I am so thankful that He has asked me to be a homeschool mom. I am so thankful for each day with my children, and I honestly wonder how we ever did anything else
Over the last few months, I have been asked one question repeatedly: "So, why have you decided to homeschool your children?" While on the surface this seems like an easy enough question to answer, it actually can be quite complicated. I know that I should just answer honestly, but the people pleaser in me is always afraid that I might accidentally offend someone with my answer. First of all, the people asking are generally not people who homeschool. Other homeschoolers already know, without asking usually, why we've made this decision. So, that means the people who are asking have their children in either public or private school. Sometimes they are people I know well, and other times, they are people I hardly know at all. Unfortunately, I tend to respond differently depending upon who's asking. Even now as I am writing this, I am worried that my thoughts will offend someone who is reading! But, there is a true reason why we homeschool, and the truth is that it may not be politically correct. I could give you all the "safe" reasons that I typically offer such as, we needed more flexibility in our schedule...which is true. Or that I wanted to be more available to help Matt in his ministry...which is true. Or even the semi-safe reason of this is what we feel like God is asking us to do...which is also true. But the real reason goes far beyond these safe, but true answers.
The truth is, we are not trying to raise smart, well-rounded, socially acceptable kids. I am sure you are thinking, what in the world did she just say??? I know at first this might sound a little crazy, so let me explain. Our ultimate goal in raising and educating our children is that they become devoted followers of Jesus Christ. The ultimate purpose in education, in our view, is not that we prepare them to get into a good college and get a good job, but that we prepare them for whatever God's calling is upon their lives. We want to raise children who are ready to follow Jesus, wherever He might lead them. Each day that I am home with my children, I have an opportunity to teach them math, reading, history and so on, but more than that, I have precious time to share with them the love of Jesus, His wonderful plans for their future and to help them see the benefits of living their lives for Jesus and not for themselves. Yes, I want them to be prepared for anything, so that does mean high academic standards, but it isn't the focus...it isn't the priority.
Please let me say that I know a lot of parents whose kids are in school (public and private) who are purposeful in teaching their children the very same principles. We just believe this is the best way for us to accomplish what we want for our children. Our ultimate reason for homeschool is perhaps best summed up in a verse I recently memorized for my Bible study. In Deuteronomy 11-18-19 it says, "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." We have such a long way to go in being the parents that God wants us to be. Everyday I stumble, when I don't have enough patience or when I lose my temper, or who knows what else. But everyday my prayer is that God will prune me, stripping away my imperfections so that my children might see Jesus in me...and that they too would fall in love with our wonderful, merciful Savior. That they would see that following Christ brings the ultimate reward beyond anything that this world can offer them.
So, there it is. The answer to the question I never thought I would have to answer. I have to say that even though it may be hard or even unpopular, I am so thankful that He has asked me to be a homeschool mom. I am so thankful for each day with my children, and I honestly wonder how we ever did anything else
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Tuesday, September 27, 2011
S.D.G.
For any of you who know me well, you know that I am a planner. I would definitely classify myself as a schedules and lists kind of girl. I love making multiple lists during the course of a day and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment as I check off each item on my 'to do' list. During my time as a teacher, I was the first to get my test dates on the calendar and my husband often complains when I want to plan out every detail of our weekend multiple days in advance. Yes, I am a planner. As I am writing this, it seems as if this is leading into a discussion of my overwhelming need to control things, but that discussion will have to wait for another day! No, this post is actually about the reason behind the need for all the lists and planning in the first place: We are busy.
Perhaps you are like me in that you feel like you spend your day running. All. Day. Long. While I have to admit our lives have DRASTICALLY slowed down since making the decision to homeschool, we still have a lot on our plates. From school, to Bible study, church commitments, social engagements, children's activities, and to basic every day stuff like cooking dinner and cleaning house, I often feel like it is impossible to truly get it all done. So why do we do this to ourselves? I think that as women especially we have this overwhelming need to be all things to all people and to do all things well. I must be the best mother, wife, teacher, housekeeper, mentor, friend, daughter, sister, chef, servant, etc. In fact, I spend my days trying to accomplish just that-pleasing everyone around me.
But in the midst of it all, I have to stop and ask myself a tough question. Is that really what I am here for? I am so busy running around trying to please everyone that I have lost sight of my sole purpose here on earth: to bring glory to God. Now, let me stop for a moment and give a disclaimer. YES, we can glorify God by doing all things well. YES, God is honored by me being a Godly wife, mother, friend, etc.. But I have to honestly ask myself, is that why I do all that I do? Is it truly to glorify God....or is it to glorify self? Ouch. Unfortunately sometimes my answer is the latter.
In Bible study this morning, the Lord reminded me of the simple truth that I am to have a singular purpose in life and that is to bring glory and honor to Him in everything I do. He wants me to have a singular focus, which is Him. So often I am too busy running around that I forget to look up and see Him, patiently waiting there for me to notice Him in the midst of all my busyness. I am looking in so many directions that I lose my focus and as a result, I often fall flat on my face. As Christians our purpose is to be set apart for the Lord and in doing that we bring Him glory. When we lose our focus, we often stumble in our walk with the Lord.
I am thankful that the Lord is patient. That He reminds me of these simple things that I tend to forget. That He gives me an opportunity to be still in the midst of it all and simply know that He is God. It is my prayer that I can take a hard look at all that I am doing during my day and be sure that the purpose in everything truly is to bring Him honor and glory. In Bible study today we heard a story about the great composer Johann Sebastian Bach. He wrote the initials S.D.G at the end of most of his compositions. These initials stood for Soli Deo Gloria....To God Alone be Glory. I would love to think at the end of each of my activities, at the end of each of my days and ultimately at the end of my life the Lord would be able to add this same inscription to my life...Soli Deo Gloria...To God Alone be Glory.
Perhaps you are like me in that you feel like you spend your day running. All. Day. Long. While I have to admit our lives have DRASTICALLY slowed down since making the decision to homeschool, we still have a lot on our plates. From school, to Bible study, church commitments, social engagements, children's activities, and to basic every day stuff like cooking dinner and cleaning house, I often feel like it is impossible to truly get it all done. So why do we do this to ourselves? I think that as women especially we have this overwhelming need to be all things to all people and to do all things well. I must be the best mother, wife, teacher, housekeeper, mentor, friend, daughter, sister, chef, servant, etc. In fact, I spend my days trying to accomplish just that-pleasing everyone around me.
But in the midst of it all, I have to stop and ask myself a tough question. Is that really what I am here for? I am so busy running around trying to please everyone that I have lost sight of my sole purpose here on earth: to bring glory to God. Now, let me stop for a moment and give a disclaimer. YES, we can glorify God by doing all things well. YES, God is honored by me being a Godly wife, mother, friend, etc.. But I have to honestly ask myself, is that why I do all that I do? Is it truly to glorify God....or is it to glorify self? Ouch. Unfortunately sometimes my answer is the latter.
In Bible study this morning, the Lord reminded me of the simple truth that I am to have a singular purpose in life and that is to bring glory and honor to Him in everything I do. He wants me to have a singular focus, which is Him. So often I am too busy running around that I forget to look up and see Him, patiently waiting there for me to notice Him in the midst of all my busyness. I am looking in so many directions that I lose my focus and as a result, I often fall flat on my face. As Christians our purpose is to be set apart for the Lord and in doing that we bring Him glory. When we lose our focus, we often stumble in our walk with the Lord.
I am thankful that the Lord is patient. That He reminds me of these simple things that I tend to forget. That He gives me an opportunity to be still in the midst of it all and simply know that He is God. It is my prayer that I can take a hard look at all that I am doing during my day and be sure that the purpose in everything truly is to bring Him honor and glory. In Bible study today we heard a story about the great composer Johann Sebastian Bach. He wrote the initials S.D.G at the end of most of his compositions. These initials stood for Soli Deo Gloria....To God Alone be Glory. I would love to think at the end of each of my activities, at the end of each of my days and ultimately at the end of my life the Lord would be able to add this same inscription to my life...Soli Deo Gloria...To God Alone be Glory.
Monday, September 26, 2011
His story
I have a confession to make. I absoutely love reading other people's blogs. Perhaps I should clarify that I don't love reading just any old blog. In my humble opinion, all blogs are not created equal. The ones I l find myself most looking forward to the next posting are the ones written by people who are following hard after Jesus Christ and have decided to share their faith journey with those around them. I love reading stories of ordinary days and moments where people recognize the fingerprints of God on their lives and want to testify to the goodness of what they are learning with others. So often I find myself choking back tears at the life lessons given by such a merciful and loving God to His children. There are even times where the lesson shared on a blog teaches me something new and wonderful about my Creator and draws me closer to Him or into a deeper understanding of who He is.
I have wanted to blog for a long time, but always felt a little intimidated at the prospect. What if my thoughts don't measure up to my own standard of qualifying for what makes a worthwhile posting? What if what I have to say doesn't resonate with anyone who is reading or is uninteresting or shallow? Or what if I misspell something or use incorrect grammar? I mean, I was an English teacher...won't people hold me to a higher standard??? And then I worried that I might offend someone with my opinion or write something that doesn't bring honor and glory to God? All of these questions (admitedly ridiculous and self-focused) have been swirling around in my mind for a while, preventing me from taking the plunge of entering the world of bloggers.
But then today I was thinking about the amazing history lesson I had with my children. I was so excited to see them understand the beautiful story of the passover and its symbolic meaning to those of us who are believers in Jesus Christ.And it was then that I realized that I am missing opportunities to share the beauty of His story in our lives: the big moments where we see Him move with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm and the little lessons He teaches us each day about who He is and who we are in Him.
The truth is, I don't know if anyone will find my thoughts witty or insightful. I don't know if anyone will find anything I say worthwhile, but I know that I want to tell the story of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness in our lives. I want to keep a record of what He is teaching us each day as we journey along this path that He has called us to. I want to be able to look back and remember what the Lord has done for us and what He has taught us. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere a long the way He will use my words to impact the life of someone else as He has done so many times in my life by the story of others.
I have wanted to blog for a long time, but always felt a little intimidated at the prospect. What if my thoughts don't measure up to my own standard of qualifying for what makes a worthwhile posting? What if what I have to say doesn't resonate with anyone who is reading or is uninteresting or shallow? Or what if I misspell something or use incorrect grammar? I mean, I was an English teacher...won't people hold me to a higher standard??? And then I worried that I might offend someone with my opinion or write something that doesn't bring honor and glory to God? All of these questions (admitedly ridiculous and self-focused) have been swirling around in my mind for a while, preventing me from taking the plunge of entering the world of bloggers.
But then today I was thinking about the amazing history lesson I had with my children. I was so excited to see them understand the beautiful story of the passover and its symbolic meaning to those of us who are believers in Jesus Christ.And it was then that I realized that I am missing opportunities to share the beauty of His story in our lives: the big moments where we see Him move with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm and the little lessons He teaches us each day about who He is and who we are in Him.
The truth is, I don't know if anyone will find my thoughts witty or insightful. I don't know if anyone will find anything I say worthwhile, but I know that I want to tell the story of the Lord's goodness and faithfulness in our lives. I want to keep a record of what He is teaching us each day as we journey along this path that He has called us to. I want to be able to look back and remember what the Lord has done for us and what He has taught us. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere a long the way He will use my words to impact the life of someone else as He has done so many times in my life by the story of others.
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