The Pain and Purpose of Remembering

As Grace's 10th birthday rapidly approaches, I have been recently flooded with memories of the last 10 years. It is amazing to me how quickly the time has passed, and I am nostalgic when I think back to when she was a little girl and not the "tween" that now stands before me. I love to remember how she adored all things pink, delighted in playing dress-up, and spent hours pretending make believe games with her dolls, Polly-pockets and stuffed animals. These memories bring such joy to my heart, and I am so thankful everyday to have them.

However, not all of my memories are as pleasant as those that involve my children. In fact, there are some points in my life that I would much rather forget. In my Bible study, we are learning about Moses' final warnings to the people before they enter into the Promise Land. One thing that he continually tells them is remember to remember. Moses wants the people to remember what God has done for them and how God has faithfully cared for them, often in spite of their disobedience. Moses knows that if the people forget to remember that it is from the Lord that they have received blessing, then they will be less likely to follow the commands of God in their new home.

Now, we often like to give the Israelites a hard time. I mean, it just seems so foolish to us that they could witness such miraculous displays of God's power, love and mercy and then choose to forget all that he has done for them and disobey. But I confess that I often see eerily shameful similarities between myself and them. Maybe they, like me, would rather not look back on their past years spent in bondage and slavery. Maybe they are ashamed of the mistakes they made in the wilderness and would just rather forget the whole thing and move on. We, or I, am guilty at times of having this very same mindset. At times it seems easier to just forget about our "wilderness years", so to speak, and just live comfortably in the place of blessing that the Lord has brought us to.

There are so many times that I wish I could say that my testimony is one of spending most of my life walking closely with the Lord and following His plan for my life, but unfortunately, that's just not the case. Like the Israelites, I also spent many years (thankfully not 40!) wandering in the wasteland as a result of my sin and disobedience to God. And also like them, I have been delivered from my years of bondage and slavery and brought into a place of God's blessing purely as a result of His grace and mercy. How like the Israelites I am when I forget to remember that it is only by the Lord's hand that I am no longer captive to my sin.

As Moses entreats the people to remember, I am reminded that I also must remember. As painful as it is to recall the sin and my shame of my youth, it reminds me of the Lord's great love and faithfulness to me in delivering me from those things. It humbles me to think back on how He saved me...not because I deserved it, but because He loved me. Moses knows that as the people remember God's love for them, they will, out of their gratitude and love, choose to obey Him. He knows that obedience to God is a result of love for God. What could prompt greater love than remembering the faithfulness and goodness of the merciful God we serve?

So, while at times remembering produces pain, there is great purpose in it. The purpose is that as we remember the amazing grace of God towards us and our sin, we fall more deeply in love with our Savior. We will choose to obey His commands because we remember that He alone is capable of knowing what is best for us. We will "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands." (Deut 7:9) I'd say that in itself is the worth the pain of remembering.