A Little Dose of Perspective

Two nights ago I had a complete meltdown. If you are a mom then you know the kind I'm talking about...the       4 a.m., sleep-deprived, ugly cry, completely irrational kind. The kind where you truly believe you will never sleep a glorious 8 hours again- that this precious bundle you birthed is destined to wake you up every few hours FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, and you become keenly aware of why enemy combatants use sleep-deprivation as a form of torture. Maybe you've never been there and your precious angels all slept through the night at four weeks old or something ridiculous like that, (the rest of us hate you, by the way)  but this is where I was just two nights ago. 14 weeks of not sleeping had finally taken its toll, and I had a 4 a.m. pity party. It wasn't pretty. 

I woke up yesterday morning tired and weary, and in my type-Aness determined to find a plan. And if I'm honest, I woke up frustrated and feeling a bit sorry for myself. I mean, why did this have to be so HARD?!? Plenty of babies (including one of my own) sleep through the night by this time...why wasn't mine? Why didn't God bless me with a good sleeper this time around? Didn't He know how busy we are or that I have big kids that I have to homeschool during the day? I don't have time to be tired. I was full of self-pity and full of MYSELF.

Early that morning I was flipping through Facebook while feeding Nora, still feeling sorry for myself mind you, when The Lord hit me with exactly what I needed- a healthy dose of perspective. In my newsfeed there were three posts in a row

that rocked me to my core. The first was a plea for prayers for a sweet baby girl about the same age as my Nora. She had contracted the flu which then caused her to have a stroke leading to bleeding on her brain. The second was a post from a precious 20-something mama. This mother of three babies was headed to Houston to face brain surgery for cancer. The final post was a message to a dear friend who buried her young husband just a week ago, leaving her behind to raise her two girls alone. 

Suddenly my "burden" wasn't quite so heavy. Yes, I had been awake most of the night rocking my sweet baby, but I began to wonder and to think about what these other mamas were doing at 4 a.m. Maybe they were awake all night too. The first mama, keeping a vigil all night long in a hospital room. Worrying, praying over her little one, wondering if she would make it and if so, would she ever be the same healthy, happy little girl she was before? The second mama, miles away from her babies, facing surgery with tons of risks and no guarantee that it would heal her of a disease that threatened to take her from her children. The third, lying awake in a bed that suddenly feels too big, facing life without her partner, her best friend. Grieving for herself & her daughters who would now grow up without their Daddy. Perspective. 

It's so easy to get short-sighted, to focus on our unpleasant circumstances and let them distract us from the blessings all around us. Yes, I may be tired. But I'm tired because I have a tiny little girl who needs me, who finds comfort in her mama's arms where she can hear the beating of my heart and feel the reassurance of my warmth. Sometimes in the middle of our "hard" we need to step back and see it for what it truly is, to see the beauty in it. 

I'm not saying that the little things that we face in life aren't hard. They really are. But whether it's sleep-deprivation, or the terrible twos, or financial struggles, or chronic pain, or a troubled teen, or you fill in the blank, sometimes we just need a moment to get perspective. That the things that seem so heavy at the time are really not so bad after all. That there are so many around us who are truly hurting and broken, barely surviving while we focus on ourselves and our own struggles. 

Yesterday morning The Lord reminded me of a couple of things. The first is that He cares. He cares as much about the weary mama as he does the grieving widow. He wants us to bring ALL of our burdens to Him -big and small because He cares for us. His word tells us this is true in 1 Peter 5:7. 

The second is that He hears. He hears our desperate 4 a.m. cries, and He hears the mother's pleas for her child. And He answers...not always in the way we want or expect, but He answers. His answer to me was a gentle reproof, a reminder to open my eyes to the sweet blessings He is pouring out on me. 

The third is that He knows. He knows because He too once walked in this broken world- weary, heart-broken, worn.  He wept, He grieved, He faced fears and sorrows. He understands the pain and hurt that we face here on earth. When we feel alone in our grief and sorrow, He's right there, willing us to let Him guide us through it. To give us His grace to endure. 

And finally, He has overcome. One day there will be no more mamas with empty arms aching to hold their babies. There will be no more widows grieving the loss of their husbands. There will be no children without mamas to rock them in the middle of the night. Because He came and because He is coming again, we have hope. Jesus tells us in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

Last night as I put my head on my pillow, fairly certain it would not be for nearly long enough, I remembered those other mamas. I snuggled up close to my husband and put my head on his chest and listened to the steady, comforting beat of his heart. I listened to the sweet sound of my baby breathing contentedly in her sleep. I heard the familiar sounds of my big kids settling in for bed. And I had perspective. 

I'm sure there will still be other meltdowns in my future. But I hope that I will be able to stop and count my blessings, to take a step back and get a little perspective. To see the bigger picture. To remember that He cares, He hears, He knows, and He has overcome.